Our Five Pillars
We guide parents using a clear, skill‑building framework beginning with strategies to stay calm to enable flexible decisions that align with your child's best interests.
Read more: Five Pillars of PC Work
These skills reduce reactivity, clarify communication, and create stability.
Phase I: Skill Building & Self‑Resolution
The primary goal is to help parents manage co‑parenting independently over time.
Core Communication Skills We Teach
BIFF Communication:
- Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm communication introduced by Bill Eddy at the Conflict Institute
BIFF removes emotional hooks and prevents escalation by keeping communication short, factual, and professional. Read more: Unproductive Communication
Making a Proposal
Instead of focusing on problems, parents learn to propose solutions. This shifts communication from arguing to problem‑solving.
Read more: Time Trade Proposals or Tips for Trades
No JADE
Do not Justify, Argue, Defend, or Emotionally Engage. JADE fuels high‑conflict cycles. Learning to stop JADE‑ing protects your emotional energy and prevents escalation.
Read more: Stop DARVO
Practical Guidance for Daily Co‑Parenting
• Detachment is a skill — their behaviour is about them, not you
• Focus on what you control: tone, boundaries, and responses
• Document objectively; don’t dwell
• Use email for facts, not conflict
• Use structured meetings for complex or emotional issues
Read more: Understanding the Brain Science of Conflict, Habits that Escalate Conflict, and 45 Minute Brain Break
Our Communication Agreement
All clients receive a clear roadmap to avoid blame, criticism, harassment, and unnecessary conflict while operationalizing shared parental responsibilities and the duty to consultunder s.40–41 of the Family Law Act (FLA). The Communucation Agreement is a hybrid of the Arizona Chapter of the AFCC recommendations and the work of Bill Eddy at the Conflict Institute, plus needed terms to communicate in the children's best interests to parent them. Fees are charged in some cases if one party requires unusual amounts of extra coaching. Fees are not punishment and are meant to reflect the extra time spent that is unfair to bill the other parent for. Persistent non-compliance with the respectful communication terms will lead to a referral to outside therapy to help develop the essential skills required for respectful coparenting in the best interests of your child. It might also lead to a recommendation to return to court for directions or orders or the end of the PC process.
Read more: Communication Agreement as Coach, and 24 Hour Response
Digital Accountability (Our Family Wizard)
We provide transparent, monitored communication that supports accountability and organization.
Read more about the benefits of your PC monitoring (no charge if no problems): Communication Apps. If you have communication you do not want monitored, just keep it respectful and write "private" in the subject line. Your co-parent can still send the message to the PC if it becomes relevant,
Coaching & Practical Tools
We provide one‑on‑one support, custom no-fee educational program , and balanced reporting to ensure accuracy, neutrality and fairness. Scroll down for more co-parenting tips or read from our full collection of Parenting Resources.
Counselling Supports (As Needed)
We can provide referrals to counselling or child‑focused therapy when appropriate.
Read more: Your Therapy Team and Children’s Therapy
Phase II: Binding Resolution
Step 1: Negotiation
We first try to find agreement using structured, child‑focused proposals grounded in s.37 FLA best‑interest factors.
Further reading: Mediation v. Parenting Coordination, and Neutrality v. Impartiality Ethical Differences in PC Work
Step 2: Determination
If a deadlock remains, I make a Determination:
• each parent makes written submissions
• deadlines apply
The determination may be filed with the court and enforced as an order.
This ensures issues do not remain unresolved indefinitely.
Why This Works:
Further reading: Is a PC a Waste of Money?, and Ignoring PC Agreements
Ready to Move Forward?
If you are ready to reduce conflict, protect your emotional energy, and create a calmer, more predictable environment for your children, parenting coordination can help.
Contact us today to explore the PC process. We serve families across BC — virtual and in‑person services available in Kelowna, Kamloops, Vancouver, Victoria, and Prince George.
Co-parenting Tip: The Art of "No JADE" –Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Emotionally Engage
This is tricky, but absolutely transformative. High-conflict co-parents often thrive on pulling you into an emotional rollercoaster cycle of JADE. When you JADE, you inadvertently fuel the conflict.
- Justify: You feel the need to explain your actions or decisions extensively.
- Argue: You get drawn into a back-and-forth debate about who is right or wrong.
- Defend: You try to protect yourself from accusations or blame.
- Emotionally Engage: You react to their provocations with anger, frustration, sadness, or any strong emotion.
Why No JADE is so powerful: When you refuse to JADE, you withhold the "fuel" that the conflict needs to burn. You become less reactive and more strategic.
- Co-Parent says: "You're always late! You obviously don't care about our children's schedule."
- Your JADE response: "That's not fair! I was only 5 minutes late last time because of traffic, and I called ahead! I care deeply about their schedule; you're the one who..." (You're justifying, arguing, defending, and getting emotionally engaged.)
- Your No JADE response (using BIFF principles): "I understand your concern about punctuality. I will ensure I am on time for pickup." (Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm – and no JADE.)
Maintain a business relationship and remove all drama. This response doesn't justify, argue, defend, or emotionally engage. It acknowledges, states a commitment, and effectively ends the unproductive conversation. Read more about DARVO
Some Further Essential Reading (from our Blog)
How Triangulation Harms Children and How to Stop It
How the PC Process Manages Conflict
The Science of What Children Need: ACEs
How Conflict Harms Children and How to Stop It
Understanding the Brain Science of Conflict
The PC Process:
When PC Agreements are Ignored
**Parenting coordination is a non‑therapeutic, non‑legal dispute resolution process focused on assisting parents in implementing parenting arrangements and reducing ongoing conflict. When acting as a PC, I do not provide legal representation or legal advice to either party. Parenting coordination is not mediation, counselling, or legal advocacy, and outcomes depend on many factors outside the control of the parenting coordinator.