The Parenting Coordinator’s Creed: How I Work to Keep You Out of Court

If you have been ordered or have agreed to work with a Parenting Coordinator (PC), you are likely coming from a place of high stress and high conflict. You might be used to the "adversarial" nature of a courtroom—where there is a winner, a loser, and a judge who decides who is "right."

Parenting Coordination is different. My role is not to be a judge or a witness to your past conflicts. My role is to be a process manager and a teacher.

Here is the "Creed" that governs how I handle your file to ensure the process remains affordable, neutral, and focused on your children.

1. I am a Teacher, Not a Witness
The goal of a PC is to move you toward self-management.

The Teaching Mandate: I provide the tools—counseling recommendations, communication protocols, and templates—to help you resolve disputes without future dependence on professional intervention.

The "No Witness" Rule: I do not participate in your litigation. My only "voice" in the legal system is through formal Determinations. This is a shield that protects my neutrality; the moment I am perceived as a witness for one side, my ability to teach the other side effectively ends.

2. The "Stop-Watch" Rule: Guarding the Balance of Time
In high-conflict situations, time is often weaponized. If a PC spends significantly more time reading one parent’s emails, it can be perceived as "alignment."

I prioritize joint meetings and "CC’d" emails. This ensures both parents receive the same information at the exact same time. If one parent drives 80% of the PC’s billable time through excessive emails or meritless complaints, Section 17 of the FLA Regulations allows for the reapportionment of costs. This isn't about blame; it is the financial reality of how much time that parent is consuming.

3. Efficiency Over Excess: Making Decisions Affordable
A PC should not be a "luxury item" that bankrupts a family. To keep costs down, I follow an Efficiency Clause:

Recommendation vs. Determination: I use informal "Recommendations" for minor day-to-day issues to save you money. Formal "Determinations" are reserved for serious breaches. I generally do not accept long submissions. I require a concise 1-3 page summaries of the Facts, and your Proposed Remedy.

4. The BIFF Approach to Communication
To keep the peace, our communication must be BIFF: Brief, Informative, Friendly (professional), and Firm (your boundary, not bossy).

Teaching without Blame:

My job is not to focus exclusively on "Why" something happened, as that invites excuses and conflict. My job is to ask "What’s next?" * Instead of focusing on a past failure (e.g., "You missed the hockey practice"), we focus on the restorative protocol (e.g., "The agreement requires attendance; since it didn't happen, Parent B now has the Right of First Refusal to transport the child").

5. The "Fork in the Road" Model
Every issue we face has a clear path regarding cost and outcome:

Coaching/Teaching - Changing behavior for the future - Shared 50/50.
New Protocols - Creating clearer rules to stop the "gray area." - Shared 50/50.
Formal Determination - Recording a breach of an order or agreement -100% paid by the breaching party.
 
6. Maintaining the "Impenetrable Midline"
To remain effective, I must maintain a clinical distance. I cannot align with either parent, nor can I get caught in the middle of personal attacks. By focusing on objective criteria—the Family Law Act and your Order or Agreement—we ensure the process remains fair.

Summary: Parenting Coordination is a roadmap to stability. By following these rules, we ensure the process is a tool for your child’s well-being, rather than another battlefield for the adults.