Tired of Endless Co-Parenting Emails? Time to Change the Conversation

Co-parenting after separation is a journey, and like any journey, there will be bumps in the road. For many, that biggest bump comes in the form of a never-ending email chain. You know the one—it starts with a simple question about a school pickup, and before you know it, you're 15 messages deep, dwelling on the past and feeling more frustrated than ever.

If this sounds familiar, you're not alone. I see it almost every day in my practice. While the goal is to communicate, the reality is that without structure, these exchanges can quickly derail and become unproductive, creating more stress for you and, most importantly, for your children.

This is where the true power of a parenting coordinator comes in. My role is not to simply mediate but to help you build the skills you need to navigate these challenges effectively. I teach four core pillars that can transform your co-parenting relationship from a battleground into a cooperative partnership.

The Four Pillars of Productive Co-Parenting (based on the work of Bill Eddy, Conflict Institute)

1. Manage Your Emotions: Reacting to an email in the heat of the moment will almost always lead to a negative outcome. I will show you how to pause, reflect, and respond with a calm, clear mind.
2. Practice Flexible Thinking: Co-parenting is about compromise, not control. I will guide you away from rigid thinking and help you find creative, new solutions that work for everyone—especially your kids.
3. Manage Your Behavior: Every action and message you send sets a tone. I will help you ensure your behavior and communication are always aligned with the best interests of your children.
4. Check Yourself: Before you hit "send," I'll teach you to ask two critical questions: "Am I considering the other person’s perspective?" and "Is this truly in the best interest of my children?"
   Why I Step In to Stop the Email Spiral

My job is to help you move forward, and endless email chains are a roadblock. When I see an exchange devolving into accusations and past grievances, I will step in. Why?

• It's Ineffective: The rapid-fire nature of email prevents deep reflection and productive problem-solving.
• It's Costly: Remember, every email I am copied on and every piece of communication I have to process is billed as part of my services. An unproductive, back-and-forth exchange is not only frustrating but also an expensive use of your time and resources.
• It's My Job to Be Neutral: As your parenting coordinator, my role is to remain a neutral guide. I can’t effectively do my job when communication is reactive and lacks the structure we've worked so hard to establish. My focus is on solutions, not on who is right or wrong.
  

A Better Way Forward

My goal is to help you move past these common struggles and embrace a more productive approach. We will shift your focus from dwelling in the past to building a better future for your family. We will rely on tools like the BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm) communication method and develop solution-focused proposals that keep the conversation on track. We follow a Communication Agreement including terms to  not criticize, control or bring up the past. We also make proposals to move directly to solutions.

If you’re tired of the email wars and ready to learn a better way to co-parent, I can help. Contact me today to learn more about how I can guide you toward a more peaceful and productive co-parenting relationship.