The Framework of Trust: Why My Professional Boundaries Protect Your Family

Why Boundaries are a Parent’s Best Friend

When parents enter Parenting Coordination, they are often exhausted. You are likely looking for a referee, a tie-breaker, and someone who can finally bring some stability to the chaos.

As your PC, my job is to help you resolve disputes without the delays and costs of a courtroom. To do that effectively, I have to work within a very specific set of professional guardrails. To a parent in the heat of a dispute, these rules can sometimes feel rigid.

However, these boundaries are actually my most important tool for helping your family. Here is why my professional standards are designed to protect you.

1. The Symmetry of Time: Why I Track Every Minute

In many high-conflict dynamics, the roles become asymmetrical. We often see one parent acting as the "Poker" (using subtle manipulation or high-conflict tactics) and the other as the "Poked" (reacting emotionally or becoming triggered).

As your PC, I recognize these roles. However, I have to manage a very fine line regarding how I spend my time. If I spend three hours coaching the "Poked" parent on how to regulate their emotions, but only fifteen minutes with the "Poker," a lawyer or a judge may later view that lopsided time-tracking as evidence of bias. In the eyes of the law, unequal time could be reframed as alignment.

To protect my neutrality (and your decisions), I must maintain "Structural Neutrality". If one parent requires significant skill-building to stop being triggered, and the other needs to recognize how their manipulation harms the children, I cannot be the one to provide that deep-dive coaching.

2. The Requirement for Outside Counselling

Because I must remain a neutral arbitrator, I cannot become your therapist (also, I am a lawyer not a therapist). When the family dynamic shifts, I will point out each parent's role in that conflict, but you must be prepared to do the work with outside experts.

Pursuant to the authority in Odgers v. Odgers, 2014 BCSC 717 (CanLII), provided clients can afford it, I may mandate specialized counselling. The "Poked" parent may need to build "internal armor" so that triggers no longer derail their parenting. The "Poker" parent may need to recognize how their behavior causes long-term, measurable harm to the children.

3. "Adjective-Free" and "Review-Ready" Decisions

When I write a formal Determination, I focus strictly on objective facts: dates, times, and specific actions. I strip out subjective words like "toxic" or "stubborn" as PC work does not blame or criticize.

My  responsibility is to create binding decisions, without errors of law or mixed law and fact within my jurisdiction. If my decision is reviewed by a court, it must stand as a reasonable, evidence-based document anchored in Section 37 of the Family Law Act (Best Interests of the Child). This provides your family with a stable legal record that actually resolves the issue rather than fueling the fire.

4. The "No-Credit" Rule (Financial Integrity)

The standard participation agreement required under the BC Parenting Coordination Roster Society (the PC Contract) requires a retainer for continued services.  If the account drops below the retainer, the PC has discretion to "drop the pen" until it is topped up.

Under the PC Contract, if one parent has paid their retainer and the other has not, the PC has discretion to allow the parent who is not in financial breach to fund a necessary Determination. This ensures that the child’s stability and the "Best Interests" under section 37 are prioritized and not held hostage by breaches of the agreement.

In this type of case, the PC Contract allows the final Determination to reallocate PC fees according to the merits of the case. While this allows the work to move forward, a persistent failure to fund the process is a fundamental breach of the PC Contract. If this breach is not promptly corrected by making a payment arrangement, PC services stop. The parties will likely need to return to court for enforcement of the debts and obtain further judicial directions and intervention.

This isn’t just about business; it is about protecting the integrity and neutrality of the process. If a parent owes the PC money, or will be owing money, the PC technically becomes their creditor, which can create a perceived conflict of interest unless arrangements are made to pay the PC's fees.

The Bottom Line

A PC’s boundaries are not a barrier to your family; they are the framework that allows your family to function. By being rigid about the process, I am able to be fair to the people.

I am not here to be a rescuer; I am a process guardian. When the process is protected, the children have a chance to thrive.

Written by Cori McGuire, a Parenting Coordinator with 28 years of family law experience in British Columbia. Cori has many other articles on the parenting coordination processincluding: How PCs Manage Conflict, When Co-operation Stops: How PCs Manage Conflict , When a Co-parent Obstructs, and when the process is failing and is in need of support from the court: When PC Agreements are Ignored and Secret Recordings. Further reading by subject is found in our Resource Library.