What to Do When Your Co-Parent Obstructs the PC Process

If your co-parent is using non-compliance, hostility, or refusal to pay fees to stall the Parenting Coordination (PC) process, you can take specific, proactive steps to protect your child, your financial position, and the integrity of the process.

1. Maintain Documentation Excellence

• Documentation is your most powerful tool. Treat every interaction—or lack thereof—as a piece of evidence.
• Financial Records: Keep a precise, chronological record of all PC invoices, receipts, and payments made by both you and your co-parent. Specifically document every date and amount you had to advance on their behalf (e.g., covering their share of the retainer or arrears).
• Communication Log: Maintain a log of every PC session they missed, every deadline they ignored, and every refusal to communicate (while simultaneously ensuring your own compliance). Do not rely on your memory; use a simple, structured spreadsheet.
• PC Decisions: File and organize every Recommendation and Determination issued by the PC. These are the binding documents your lawyer will use for enforcement.
   

2. Strategic Communication
 

When dealing with an uncooperative co-parent, your communication should be focused on the child's needs and compliance, not on emotion or retaliation.

• Keep it Child-Focused: When communicating about a matter the co-parent is obstructing, always tie the request back to the child (e.g., "The PC recommended we decide X by Tuesday to ensure [Child's Name] is prepared for school camp").
• Use the PC as the Shield: When they attempt a unilateral change or termination, refer them back to the governing document. Your reply should be brief: "As per Article X of the PC Contract/Court Order, termination requires mutual agreement. Please direct all further communication regarding PC fees/termination to the Parenting Coordinator."
• Do Not Engage in the Conflict: If they send hostile or accusatory emails, do not reply to the emotion. Forward the email to the PC as an example of non-compliant behavior, and, if a reply is strictly necessary, keep it factual and one sentence long.
   

3. Financial and Legal Protection
 

If your co-parent stops paying their share, your immediate priority is ensuring the PC's continuity of service to prevent them from resigning due to non-payment.

• Pay Under Protest: If the PC requires you to pay the full outstanding balance or retainer to continue work, pay it and document the payment. Inform the PC and your lawyer that you are paying the funds "under protest" (i.e., that you intend to seek reimbursement later).
• Do Not Wait for Resignation: Encourage your PC to issue a Formal Determination on the non-payment and obstruction before the process completely breaks down. This Determination provides you with the immediate evidence required to proceed.
• Engage Your Lawyer for Enforcement: Once the PC issues a Determination (especially one regarding arrears or new retainer terms), immediately contact your lawyer. Your lawyer can:
  • File the Determination with the court to make it a binding court order.
  • File a Motion to Enforce the Determination, seeking a court order for your co-parent to reimburse you for all advanced funds.
  • Seek a cost order that requires the co-parent to pay your legal fees incurred due to their non-compliance.

The most crucial step is to quickly fund the PC work needed to issue the enforceable Determination. This saves you the greater cost, time, and stress of starting over in court without a clear, binding roadmap for enforcement.