How the Parenting Coordination Process Works in Greater Detail
Phase One: Consensus
The Parenting Coordination process begins with supportive, non‑coercive coaching and facilitation, grounded in neuroscience and conflict‑management research. Parents are supported in developing practical communication skills and problem‑solving approaches that reduce escalation and allow day‑to‑day parenting issues to be addressed more effectively.
This stage focuses on:
- containing conflict rather than assigning blame
helping parents communicate in ways that don’t trigger repeated crises - supporting voluntary change and agreement wherever possible
Only when agreement cannot be reached—and only where authorized by a court order or agreement—does the process move into a more formal decision‑making phase. Any determinations are limited, order‑based, and focused strictly on implementing existing parenting arrangements.
Core Communication Skills We Teach
BIFF Communication:
- Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm communication introduced by Bill Eddy at the Conflict Institute
BIFF (Brief, Informative, Friendly, and Firm) communication, introduced by Bill Eddy at the Conflict Institute, is used by the Parenting Coordinator as a coaching and educational tool only. It assists parents in communicating in a way that reduces escalation and supports effective consultation about parental responsibilities.
Where a court order or family law agreement requires parents to consult when exercising parental responsibilities, supporting and structuring that consultation is typically within the Parenting Coordinator’s implementation mandate. Communication that does not advance consultation about a current decision under the order or agreement—for example, communications focused on past grievances, repetition, blame, or emotional expression unrelated to decision‑making—may be treated as non‑consultative for implementation purposes.
In such cases, the Parenting Coordinator may disregard the communication, require reframing, conclude the consultation process, or escalate the matter to facilitation or determination where jurisdiction permits. This approach regulates process, not general conduct.
The Parenting Coordinator’s time spent coaching reframed communication within the scope of consultation about parental responsibilities, including emotional regulation strategies provided to both parents and any necessary reporting, may be reapportioned depending on frequency and severity, at the Parenting Coordinator’s discretion and subject to the appointing order or agreement.
Read more: Unproductive Communication
Making a Proposal
Instead of focusing on problems, another Billy Eddy communication tool for parents is to learn to propose solutions in communications. This shifts communication from arguing to problem‑solving.
Read more: Time Trade Proposals or Tips for Trades
No JADE
In healthy communication, do not Justify, Argue, Defend, or Emotionally Engage. JADE fuels high‑conflict cycles. Learning to stop JADE‑ing protects your emotional energy and prevents escalation.
Read more: Stop DARVO
Practical Guidance for Daily Co‑Parenting
• Detachment is a skill - focus on your own actions
• Focus on what you control: tone, boundaries, and responses
• Document objectively
• Use email for facts, not conflict
• Use structured meetings for complex or emotional issues
Read more: Understanding the Brain Science of Conflict, Habits that Escalate Conflict, and 45 Minute Brain Break
Our Communication Agreement
Read more: Communication Agreement as Coach, and 24 Hour Response
Digital Accountability (Our Family Wizard)
We provide transparent, monitored communication that supports accountability and organization.
Read more about the benefits of your PC monitoring (no charge if no problems): Communication Apps. If you have communication you do not want monitored, write "private" in the subject line. The message can be reviewed by the PC at the request of either parent if it becomes relevant.
Coaching & Practical Tools
We provide one‑on‑one support, custom no-fee educational program , and balanced reporting to ensure accuracy, neutrality and fairness. Scroll down for more co-parenting tips or read from our full collection of parenting articles in our Resource Library.
Counselling Supports (As Needed)
We can provide referrals to counselling or child‑focused therapy when appropriate.
Read more: Children’s Therapy
Phase Two: Determinations
(Strict, Limited, and Order/Agreement‑Based)
If the issue remains unresolved, the Parenting Coordinator may make a determination, strictly within the authority granted by the appointing order or agreement.
The determination process typically includes:
• written submissions from each parent,
• defined timelines, and
• a focused review limited to the implementation issue in dispute.
Parents will be clearly advised in writing when this stage is required and they can cancel still agree at any time before the determination is issued. Determinations:
• implement pre‑existing parenting arrangements,
• resolve discrete, day‑to‑day issues,
• and apply decision‑making in the best interests of the child only as required to give effect to the existing order.
A determination may be filed with the court and, once filed, is enforceable as a court order. The Parenting Coordinator implements and does not enforce.
Why This Process Works
Parenting Coordination does not rely on persuasion, goodwill, or repeated litigation. It relies on:
• structured process,
• clear boundaries,
• and defined decision‑making authority.
When parents are able to change voluntarily, coaching and facilitation support that change. When agreement is not possible, limited determinations provide clarity without reopening.
Further reading:
Ready to Move Forward?
Contact us today to explore the PC process. We serve families across BC — virtual and in‑person services available in Kelowna, Kamloops, Vancouver, Victoria, and Prince George.
© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.
Some Further Essential Reading (from our Blog)
How Triangulation Harms Children and How to Stop It
How the PC Process Manages Conflict
The Science of What Children Need: ACEs
How Conflict Harms Children and How to Stop It
Understanding the Brain Science of Conflict
The PC Process:
When PC Agreements are Ignored
© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.
**Parenting coordination is a non‑therapeutic, non‑legal dispute resolution process focused on assisting parents in implementing parenting arrangements and reducing ongoing conflict. All services are as permitted under he appointing order and agreements. When acting as a PC, I do not provide legal representation or legal advice to either party. Parenting coordination is not mediation, counselling, or legal advocacy, and outcomes depend on many factors outside the control of the parenting coordinator.
Our Five Pillars
We guide parents using a clear, skill‑building framework beginning with strategies to stay calm to enable flexible decisions that align with your child's best interests.
Read more: Five Pillars of PC Work
These skills reduce reactivity, clarify communication, and create stability.