Blog

Child's hands building a sandcastle on a pristine resort beach with turquoise water and family members nearby

Holiday Parenting Time Disputes: Why a 24-Hour Transition Buffer Can Reduce Conflict and Improve Implementation

Restaurant owner and financial consultant reviewing merchant statements and identifying cost savings opportunities overhead view

How to Reduce Parenting Coordination Fees: Why Parenting Coordination Becomes Expensive and What Parents Can Do About It

Hands of two people collaborating over financial planning documents, calculator, and savings piggy bank on desk

<h2>Why Parenting Coordination Gets Expensive — And How Structure Fixes It</h2>Parenting coordination has developed a reputation for being too open‑ended and too expensive, and that concern is not without merit. In many cases, the process expands beyond what is proportionate to the issues being addressed. Communication becomes prolonged, consensus is pursued without clear limits, and costs increase in a way that can undermine confidence in the process itself.&nbsp;In my view, this is not a failure of parenting coordination as a model. It is a problem of process design. Containment through structure is not optional. It is required.&nbsp;<h3>The Legal Framework: Implementation‑Only and Neutral</h3>The courts have defined the parenting coordinator’s role as implementation‑only and neutral. This is not an open‑ended forum for negotiation, advocacy, or ongoing dispute management. It is a structured process for applying existing court orders and agreements to parenting decisions as new issues arise.&nbsp;That legal framework matters. An open‑ended, consensus‑driven model is not compatible with an implementation‑only role. Without structure, the process expands unnecessarily and drives cost without improving outcomes. My practice at Cori L. McGuire Law Corporation is newly designed to work within these constraints, not around them.&nbsp;<h3>A Structured Approach Based on Experience</h3>My approach is based on 18 years of experience as a parenting coordinator in British Columbia. It continues to evolve, and I reserve the right to refine and improve it to ensure that it remains effective and proportionate.&nbsp;The central principle is straightforward. The parenting coordinator manages access to the process. Parents participate within a structured framework designed to contain cost, maintain focus, and support child‑centred decision‑making.&nbsp;<h3>Structured Communication That Reduces Cost</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Parenting coordination is not intended to be the first step. Parents are expected to attempt structured consultation before bringing an issue forward. This includes identifying a specific issue and making a clear proposal within a defined communication framework.&nbsp; The process uses an implementation‑focused communication model designed to support consultation over parental responsibilities in a way that is clear, contained, and less vulnerable to manipulation or misuse. Communication is structured around timing and content. Messages are expected to be focused and directed toward decision‑making.&nbsp;Communication that does not advance consultation or a defined issue may be disregarded. This allows the process to be self‑enforcing in many cases, reducing the need for parenting coordinator involvement and containing cost. When used properly, many issues can be resolved without engaging the parenting coordinator at all.&nbsp;<h3>How Issues Are Defined and Managed</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">When an issue is brought forward, I determine how it will proceed. This includes defining and reframing the issue so that it is properly focused. Reframing does not mean agreement. It means identifying what the issue actually is so that it can be addressed in a proportionate way.&nbsp; Where necessary, I may communicate with one or both parents, including by telephone, to clarify concerns and assess whether intervention is required. These conversations are purposeful and limited. They form part of the process and are documented accordingly. Procedural fairness is maintained, but symmetry is assessed across the file as a whole rather than on a minute‑by‑minute basis.&nbsp;<h3>Facilitated Resolution Without Endless Consensus</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Where appropriate, I use a facilitated, interest‑based approach to move parents from positions to underlying concerns. This helps determine whether an issue reflects a genuine breakdown requiring intervention or a difference that can be resolved without escalation.&nbsp; Where a change is proposed, the process requires consideration of whether something is not working, recognizing that stability is a central factor in the child’s best interests under section 37 of the Family Law Act.&nbsp;If resolution is possible, I will often provide a non‑binding recommendation. Consensus is encouraged, but it is not pursued indefinitely. The process must remain proportionate to the issue.&nbsp;<h3>Determinations Are Structured and Limited</h3>A determination is reserved for matters that cannot be resolved and fall within my jurisdiction. This includes situations where the issue remains unresolved after structured consultation or where jurisdiction or legal error is raised.&nbsp;Determinations are disciplined, implementation‑based decisions grounded in existing orders or agreements. They are not used to manage ongoing conflict or regulate general conduct under the new model.&nbsp;<h3>Proportionality and Cost Awareness</h3>Fee containment is achieved through structure, not restriction. Parents are expected to consider whether the cost of pursuing an issue through parenting coordination is proportionate to its significance.&nbsp;Some disputes, particularly those involving routine or lower‑value items, can cost more to resolve than the issue itself. In those situations, it may be more practical to resolve the matter independently. This is not a dismissal of the concern but a recognition that not every issue requires formal intervention.&nbsp;<h3>The Role of the Report and Account</h3>A core feature of my practice is the use of a structured Report and Account. Rather than providing continuous informal updates, I issue periodic reports that record the work completed on the file.&nbsp;The Report and Account records communications, confirms relevant facts, documents the process steps taken, and identifies patterns affecting efficiency and cost. It also sets out next steps and may include recommendations to improve how the process is being used.&nbsp;The tone is neutral and trauma‑informed, reflecting the requirement of impartiality and the reality that high conflict often arises from differing perspectives. The Report and Account provides transparency while maintaining structure and controlling cost.&nbsp;<h3>Fee Reapportionment and Process Use</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Fee reapportionment is not automatic and is not based solely on outcome. It may be considered where there is misuse of the process, such as failure to follow structured steps, excessive or repetitive communication, or advancing issues in a disproportionate way.&nbsp; Concerns about process use are generally identified in advance so that parents have an opportunity to adjust.&nbsp;<h3>Managing Volume and Maintaining Focus</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">High‑conflict cases often involve multiple overlapping issues. To maintain clarity and proportionality, I may limit the process to a primary issue or sequence issues over time. This prevents fragmentation and ensures that time and resources remain focused on what is most important for the children.&nbsp; <h3>A Structured Model That Works</h3><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Parenting coordination must operate within an implementation‑only, neutral framework. When left open‑ended, the process becomes inefficient and expensive. When structured properly, it becomes focused, predictable, and proportionate.&nbsp; The parenting coordinator manages the process. Parents participate within it. When the process is structured, it functions as intended.&nbsp;For further reading about process, see <a data-mce-href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/doing-less--not-nothing--why-a-parenting-coordinator-sometimes-waits" href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/doing-less--not-nothing--why-a-parenting-coordinator-sometimes-waits">Doing Less, Not Nothing: Why a Parenting Coordinator Sometimes Waits</a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">, <a data-mce-href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/reapportionment-of-parenting-coordination-fees-in-british-columbia" href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/reapportionment-of-parenting-coordination-fees-in-british-columbia" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Reapportionment of Parenting Coordination Fees in British Columbia</a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">, <a data-mce-href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/your-communication-agreement-as-a-coach--the-essential-tool" href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/your-communication-agreement-as-a-coach--the-essential-tool">Your Communication Agreement as a Coach: The Essential Tool</a>, and <a data-mce-href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/parenting-coordination-recommendations--what-they-are-and-why-they-matter" href="https://kelownalawyer.com/blog/parenting-coordination-recommendations--what-they-are-and-why-they-matter">Parenting Coordination Recommendations: What They Are and Why They Matter</a><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">.Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998.&nbsp;© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.

How Parenting Coordination Is Structured to Contain Fees

Golden hour prairie landscape with distant grain elevator and wildflower grassland stretching to dramatic sky.

This article explains how a trauma‑informed approach shapes decision‑making in parenting coordination and single‑issue arbitration in British Columbia. I was thirteen, and my new town had already decided I didn’t belong, at least not in the way I wanted to. In a place that small, rejection was harsh, like the weather. It settled in and stayed. I walked home alone, already familiar with what it meant not to belong.That was when I saw him. He walked the same road after school, in the same silence. His silence was different. It stretched further and deeper, as though it had roots.He kicked the dirt with each step, not hard and not playfully, not like a bored child passing the time, but just enough to lift it. The dust rose in soft clouds around his legs, circling him and clinging for a moment before falling back to the ground. It gave the impression that he carried the road with him. He was alone as well, yet not in the same way. His shoulders carried something heavier than awkwardness.He walked with his head down, as though each step cost him something, as though the town itself pressed against him, as though it had already decided who he was long before he had the chance to become anything else. From across the street, it was clear this was different.The town seemed smaller around him than it did for others. What surrounded him was not simply exclusion. It was something more pervasive, something that pressed in from all sides and followed him home. No adult or teacher stepped in. The road carried on as though nothing unusual was happening.The dust lifted again, curling behind his feet as he continued walking. There was a moment where speaking was possible, and then it passed. The reasons came easily—what others might say, how it might be used, what it might change. The moment closed, and the distance remained.I left as soon as I could and built a life somewhere else, yet that walk home has never left me. It was not simply a boy walking alone. Something was being done to him, something that had begun long before either of us stepped onto that road.It took years to name what was visible even then. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">It was the first time I saw what racism does, not in words or lessons, but in the weight of a child’s steps and in the dust that followed him. <span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">I noticed, and I did nothing.<h2><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;" data-mce-style="font-family: inherit; font-size: calc(16px * var(--body-fontSize, 1)); font-style: var(--body-fontStyle, normal); -webkit-text-size-adjust: 100%;">Trauma‑Informed Decision‑Making in Parenting Coordination and Arbitration</h2>Now, decades later, I understand that moment differently. That understanding did not arrive fully formed. It developed gradually through reflection and through an increasing awareness of my own thinking, of how I interpret people, and of what I bring into my work. I came to recognize that this moment was one of many experiences that shaped how I listen and how I make decisions.&nbsp;What we live through does not remain behind us. It becomes part of the person making the decision. I see this in my work with families. People come into conflict believing they are responding to the issue in front of them, yet they are also responding to a history that includes their childhood experiences, their encounters with exclusion or power, and what they learned about whether it was safe to speak or necessary to remain silent. Those influences shape how they interpret each other and how they decide.&nbsp;My work has moved through different phases. I began immersed in people’s emotional experiences, working from within them. As the role of parenting coordination was more clearly defined as an implementation‑focused process, I tightened my approach and relied more deliberately on structure, recognizing the importance of clarity, limits, and discipline in decision‑making.&nbsp;Structure remains essential because it carries the work and provides the framework within which decisions can be made. What has shifted over time is my understanding of where humanity belongs within that structure.&nbsp;Without becoming therapeutic, I have come to recognize the importance of remaining interested in what shapes people’s perspectives. In facilitative, interest‑based processes, it is not possible to reach meaningful consensus without understanding that background. Even in more bounded processes, including single‑issue arbitration, decisions risk missing something important when those influences are entirely excluded.&nbsp;Experience does not disappear because it is left unspoken. It continues to operate quietly, shaping positions, reactions, and outcomes. When it is not understood, it is more likely to be repeated.&nbsp;My approach now integrates a trauma‑informed lens within a structured process. Decisions remain clear, grounded, and firm, but they are no longer framed through criticism or judgment. I apply the same legal framework and reach the same outcomes where required, yet I write the analysis differently and situate the issue within a fuller understanding of what is driving it.&nbsp;I do not describe people in a way that reduces them to a single moment of behaviour, and I do not hammer them when making decisions. The reasoning remains disciplined, but it reflects context as well as fact, so the outcome is more likely to be understood by the people who must live with it.&nbsp;Structure still carries the work, and the limits of the role remain clear. I do not provide therapy, but I remain interested in what shapes people’s perspectives, because those influences are already present whether they are named or not.&nbsp;That shift has changed the quality of my work. The decisions are the same where they must be, but they are more thoughtful, more precise, and less likely to repeat the dynamics that brought the conflict forward. Every decision‑maker brings themselves into their work, and I am more deliberate about how.&nbsp;Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998. In British Columbia, parenting coordinators and arbitrators make decisions within a structured legal framework. A trauma‑informed approach does not change the law or the outcome where required, but it improves how decisions are analyzed and communicated, making them more likely to be understood and followed. © 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.↩ To return to the original webpage, use your browser's Back button or back arrow.

The Way I Listen: Trauma‑Informed Decision‑Making in Parenting Coordination and Single‑Issue Arbitration

Therapist and client holding hands during a therapy session, symbolizing trust and emotional support in a calming wellness environment

When parents separate, children do not experience the event as a discrete legal transition. For children, separation unfolds over time through changed homes, altered routines, shifting allegiances, and recalibrated emotional expectations. In a parenting coordination context in British Columbia, this matters because the role is not to revisit the legal issues but to support the implementation of parenting in a way that protects the child’s development. One of the most common implementation issues—and one that frequently requires a determination—is whether a child will attend counselling and, if so, with whom.&nbsp;It is not uncommon for one parent to resist therapy and to frame that resistance as a matter of principle. Sometimes that takes the form of insisting that the child should only see a “Christian counsellor,” or that counselling should reflect a particular belief system. These concerns are often sincerely held. They can also, if not properly understood, delay or prevent a child from receiving support that is otherwise clearly in their best interests.&nbsp;It is important to distinguish between a parent’s personal beliefs and the function of child therapy. Child counsellors are not engaged to shape a child’s worldview or to replace parental guidance on matters of faith or values. Their role is far narrower and more structured. A child counsellor provides a neutral, developmentally appropriate space in which a child can process change, develop communication skills, and regulate emotional experience. The therapist does not take sides between parents. The therapist is not aligned with one household or the other. The therapist is not there to advance either parent’s narrative about the separation.&nbsp;Equally important, therapy is not part of litigation. A child’s counsellor should never be positioned, or perceived by the child, as a participant in a legal proceeding. Bringing a child’s therapist into court as a witness, or suggesting that what the child says in therapy may be reported to one parent or used to influence outcomes, fundamentally undermines the safety of the therapeutic environment. It creates a sense of surveillance rather than support. From the child’s perspective, this can feel like a betrayal. The space that was supposed to be private and emotionally safe becomes another place where they must manage risk, filter what they say, or protect one parent from the other.&nbsp;Once that trust is lost, the therapy often loses its effectiveness. Children cannot do meaningful therapeutic work if they believe their words will be used against them or shared in ways they do not understand or control. In a parenting coordination process, it is often necessary to be explicit about this boundary: child counselling is for the child’s development and well-being, not for evidence-gathering, not for advocacy, and not for use in ongoing disputes.&nbsp;Concerns about a counsellor’s religious orientation can also be addressed within this framework. Professional child counsellors are trained to work with families from a wide range of cultural and belief backgrounds. The role of the therapist is not to impose a belief system, but to respect and work within the child’s existing context, including the family’s values where appropriate. A competent therapist can support a child who comes from a Christian household, or any other belief system, without making religion a focal point of the therapy unless it is directly relevant to the child’s experience. In that sense, a requirement that a counsellor be identified as “Christian” is not typically necessary to ensure that the child’s family values are respected.&nbsp;What does matter is that the therapist is qualified, experienced in working with children, and able to maintain neutrality between the parents. The core functions of therapy remain the same regardless of the therapist’s personal beliefs. The work centres on helping the child develop the skills they need to navigate their circumstances: how to express feelings without escalation, how to understand that they are not responsible for adult conflict, how to establish appropriate boundaries, and how to maintain a sense of stability across two homes.&nbsp;From a parenting coordination perspective, the determination to appoint a counsellor for a child is therefore grounded in function, not ideology. The question is not whether the therapist aligns with a particular belief system, but whether the therapy will provide the child with what they are currently lacking in the family system. In high conflict situations, that often includes a consistent and neutral space where communication is safe, emotions are acknowledged, and the child is not drawn into adult dynamics.&nbsp;Children should not have to choose between parents, carry messages, or manage the emotional fallout of adult disagreement. They should not have to protect one parent from the other. Where those pressures exist, even subtly, therapy becomes an important corrective. It helps restore appropriate boundaries, reinforces that the child is not responsible for the separation, and allows the child to return to a developmental position where they can focus on growth rather than survival.&nbsp;In practice, when one parent resists therapy on the basis of preference for a particular type of counsellor, the focus returns to the child’s needs. If therapy is otherwise appropriate, the goal is to ensure that it proceeds in a way that is neutral, professionally grounded, and clearly outside of the litigation context. Parents retain their ability to guide their child’s values, including religious values, within their own parenting time. The therapist’s role remains distinct. It is a support function, not a value-setting one.&nbsp;Maintaining that boundary protects both the integrity of the therapeutic process and, more importantly, the child’s trust in it. Without that trust, therapy cannot function. With it, therapy can provide exactly what many children need after separation: a place where they are not in the middle, where they are not responsible for outcomes, and where they can learn the communication, emotional regulation, and relational skills that will shape their lives well beyond the current conflict.Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998.&nbsp;© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.

A Safe Place to Talk—Not a Side to Choose

Therapist's hands guiding child's hand placing stone in sand tray during therapeutic play session with warm natural lighting

When parents separate, children do not experience the event as a discrete legal transition. For children, separation unfolds over time through changed homes, altered routines, shifting allegiances, and recalibrated emotional expectations. In a parenting coordination context, this distinction matters, because the role is not to revisit the legality of separation but to support the ongoing implementation of parenting in a way that protects the child’s development. One of the most common and necessary interventions in that work is the consideration, and often determination, of therapeutic support for children.&nbsp;In British Columbia parenting coordination, therapy is not treated as an exceptional or intrusive measure. It is frequently a routine implementation decision. That reflects a practical reality: children exposed to separation, and particularly to high conflict dynamics, are undergoing a developmental disruption. The task is not to ask whether therapy is necessary in a crisis sense, but whether it is beneficial in helping the child adapt in a developmentally sound way.&nbsp;Children learn how to relate to others primarily through observation. They learn how to express frustration, how to disagree, how to repair, and how to feel safe in relationships by watching their parents. Where parental communication is strained, inconsistent, or adversarial, the child is left without a reliable template. In high conflict cases, this can mean that the child begins to organize their internal world around avoidance, alignment, or emotional suppression. Some children withdraw. Some become highly adaptive and attuned to adult emotions. Others externalize distress through behaviour. What unifies these responses is that the child is learning something about relationships that may not serve them in the long term.&nbsp;Therapy operates as a corrective structure. It provides a consistent environment in which the child is not managing adult conflict but is instead allowed to process their experience at their own developmental level. It reinforces a different set of relational expectations. Within therapy, the child experiences being heard without consequence, expressing emotion without escalation, and engaging in communication without having to take sides. This is particularly important in parenting coordination files where the parents’ ability to model those dynamics is limited or inconsistent.&nbsp;Children may come to therapy for reasons that are not immediately visible to the parents. Some are navigating the loss of the intact family structure. Others are adjusting to reduced contact with one parent, or to parenting arrangements that do not align with their preferences. Some experience loyalty conflicts, where expressing enjoyment with one parent feels disloyal to the other. There are children who internalize the conflict and develop anxiety, and others who express their distress through anger or resistance. In more acute cases, children may show signs of depression or self-harm ideation. Therapy provides both support and monitoring in these circumstances, and may, where appropriate, involve coordination with medical professionals for broader mental health care.&nbsp;The purpose of therapy in these situations is developmental rather than remedial. It is focused on equipping the child with the skills that allow them to function across two households and within ongoing relational tension. Children learn how to articulate their needs without escalation, how to recognize and regulate their emotional responses, how to establish appropriate boundaries, and how to tolerate differences between homes without destabilization. They also develop a sense of meaning around the separation, understanding that it is not caused by them and does not define their value or identity.&nbsp;Different therapeutic approaches meet different needs, and part of the parenting coordinator’s role is to understand, at least broadly, what is being implemented. For younger children, play therapy is often the most appropriate modality. In that setting, the child is not required to verbalize complex emotional experiences. Instead, those experiences are expressed through play, which serves as the child’s natural language. The therapist observes and supports without directing, allowing the child to process the impact of separation through symbolic expression.&nbsp;As children mature, therapy may move toward more structured approaches. Psychoeducational or skills-based therapy teaches concepts such as emotional literacy, boundaries, and communication strategies. Cognitive-behavioural frameworks may be used to help older children and adolescents understand how their thoughts, emotions, and behaviours interact, and to develop healthier patterns. In some cases, therapy extends beyond the individual child into the relational space. Parent-child therapy may be required where communication has broken down or where a child is struggling to connect with a parent. In more complex cases, particularly where there has been estrangement or significant relational disruption, reunification-oriented work may be necessary to restore a functional and emotionally safe relationship.&nbsp;It is also important to recognize that children are not simply adapting to logistical changes; they are experiencing multiple layers of loss. They may miss the daily presence of a parent, the familiarity of a single home, or the predictability of prior routines. Even where both parents remain involved, the shift to two households can create an ongoing sense of fragmentation. Therapy allows those losses to be acknowledged and processed rather than minimized.&nbsp;From a parenting coordination perspective, therapy is also a protective measure against the subtle ways in which children can become drawn into adult conflict. Children in high conflict systems may feel pressure to carry information between parents, to manage emotional reactions, or to align with one parent to maintain stability. Over time, this can lead to the child assuming responsibilities that are not developmentally appropriate. Therapy reinforces appropriate boundaries and positions the child back within the role of being a child, rather than a participant in adult dynamics.&nbsp;The determination of therapy as part of a parenting coordination process is therefore not about pathologizing the child. It is about recognizing the demands placed on the child by the family system and responding in a way that supports healthy development. It is also a pragmatic tool. Where parents cannot provide consistent emotional scaffolding due to conflict, therapy becomes a structured and reliable substitute that ensures the child still receives what they need to develop appropriately.&nbsp;Children are resilient, but resilience is not something that emerges in a vacuum. It develops through experience, guidance, and the presence of safe relational spaces. Therapy provides one of those spaces. In high conflict separations especially, it is often an essential component of ensuring that the child’s developmental trajectory is not defined by the limitations of the parental relationship, but instead supported in a way that allows them to grow into adults who can communicate, maintain boundaries, and engage in relationships without replicating the patterns they have witnessed.&nbsp;Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998.&nbsp;© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.↩ To return to the original webpage, use your browser's Back button or back arrow.

Blog

Holiday Parenting Time Disputes: Why a 24-Hour Transition...

How to Reduce Parenting Coordination Fees: Why Parenting ...

How Parenting Coordination Is Structured to Contain Fees

The Way I Listen: Trauma‑Informed Decision‑Making in Pare...

A Safe Place to Talk—Not a Side to Choose

Why Therapy Is Often in a Child’s Best Interests After Se...