How Parenting Coordination Works in My Practice: Implementation, Proportionality, and Process Management

Many parents come to Parenting Coordination believing it is another opportunity to re-argue issues that have already been decided. Others expect the Parenting Coordinator to act as a therapist, investigator, family manager, or judge. Neither expectation reflects how Parenting Coordination operates in my practice. 

Parenting Coordination is an implementation process. The focus is not on re-litigating the past. The focus is on helping parents carry out existing parenting arrangements, resolve practical disputes efficiently, and minimize the impact of ongoing conflict on children. 

Parenting Coordination Is About Implementation

A Parenting Coordinator does not create a new parenting plan. The Parenting Coordinator works within the framework established by the applicable court order, arbitration award, family law agreement, or parenting coordination agreement. 

Most disputes that arise after separation are not really about changing parenting arrangements. They are about implementing them. Common examples include: 

• scheduling disputes;
• consultation difficulties;
• education issues;
• extracurricular activities;
•  transportation arrangements;
• travel administration;
• communication breakdowns; and
• day-to-day parenting decisions.

The Parenting Coordinator assists parents in addressing these implementation issues and, where authorized, may make determinations to resolve disputes that cannot otherwise be resolved. 

Parents Control Their Positions. The Parenting Coordinator Controls the Process.

One of the most important principles in my practice is simple: Parents control their positions and proposals. The Parenting Coordinator controls the process. 

Parents are entitled to disagree. They are entitled to advocate for their position. They are entitled to provide relevant information. The Parenting Coordinator determines: 

• what issue is actually being addressed;
• what information is required;
• what process will be used;
• whether additional information is necessary;
• when enough information has been received;
• whether a recommendation should be made; and
• whether a determination is required.

Without process management, Parenting Coordination can easily become an endless cycle of reporting, responses, complaints, and escalating costs. 

Not Every Problem Requires a Major Process

One of the realities of high-conflict parenting disputes is that the process can become larger than the issue itself. A disagreement about a school email should not generate dozens of pages of correspondence. A disagreement about a single exchange should not consume months of process. 

For that reason, I apply proportionality throughout the Parenting Coordination process. The process should be proportionate to: 

• the importance of the issue;
• the likely impact on the child;
• the urgency of the circumstances;
• the information required for a fair decision; and
  the cost to the family.

Not every issue requires extensive reporting, multiple meetings, or lengthy written determinations. 

One Issue at a Time

In many high-conflict families, multiple concerns arise at once. Parents often feel compelled to raise every issue immediately. In my experience, this frequently increases costs and delays resolution. 

Where appropriate, I use issue containment and sequencing. This means: 

• identifying the issue that requires resolution;
• addressing urgent matters first;
• deferring collateral issues when appropriate;
• keeping discussions focused on the issue at hand.

The goal is to move families toward practical solutions rather than expanding the conflict. 

Recommendations Are Often More Helpful Than Determinations

Many parents assume that the Parenting Coordinator's role is primarily to make determinations. In reality, recommendations often resolve disputes far more effectively.

A recommendation is not a determination. It is not binding. Recommendations may: 

• suggest implementation options;
• identify likely outcomes;
• clarify ambiguity;
• encourage consultation;
• provide practical guidance.

Many disputes resolve after parents receive a recommendation because they gain a clearer understanding of the available options and likely consequences. 

Where possible, resolution through agreement remains preferable to formal decision-making. 

Procedural Fairness Does Not Mean Equal Time

One of the most common misunderstandings in Parenting Coordination is the belief that fairness requires equal time, equal correspondence, or equal outcomes. It does not. 

Procedural fairness generally means that each parent has a reasonable opportunity to be heard and provide relevant information. Fairness does not necessarily require: 

• equal numbers of emails;
• equal meeting time;
• identical procedures;
• repeated opportunities to advance the same position.

Different issues may require different procedures. Different circumstances may require different responses. The Parenting Coordinator's responsibility is to provide a fair process, not necessarily an identical process. 

Parenting Coordination Is Generally Not a Confidential Process

Parents are often surprised to learn that Parenting Coordination operates differently from therapy or counselling. Generally speaking, information relevant to implementation issues may be shared if necessary to ensure procedural fairness and effective decision-making. This does not mean every piece of information will automatically be disclosed. 

Family violence screening information is treated differently, and there are circumstances in which information may be withheld to protect children, safety interests, therapeutic relationships, or other important considerations. 

However, parents should not assume that communications sent to the Parenting Coordinator are automatically private from the other parent. 

Some Matters Belong Back in Court

Parenting Coordination has limits. The Parenting Coordinator does not replace the Court. Certain issues may require judicial involvement, including: 

• substantial changes to parenting arrangements;
• relocation matters;
• enforcement proceedings;
• family violence concerns requiring judicial intervention;
• requests for coercive remedies;
• matters beyond delegated authority.

Recognizing when a matter should return to Court is an important part of effective Parenting Coordination. 

Cost Management Matters

Parents often focus on hourly rates when considering cost. In reality, the largest driver of cost is usually the amount of process. Unlimited communication creates unlimited reporting. Unlimited reporting creates unlimited review. Unlimited review creates increased cost. 

For that reason, I actively manage process with the goal of keeping the Parenting Coordination process focused, proportionate, and efficient. Cost management is not separate from Parenting Coordination. It is an essential part of Parenting Coordination. 

The Goal

The goal of Parenting Coordination is not to make parents agree with one another. The goal is not to force parents to become friends. The goal is to help parents implement parenting arrangements, resolve practical disputes, reduce unnecessary conflict, and make decisions that support their children. 

The process works best when parents understand the role, understand the limits of the role, and understand that effective Parenting Coordination requires both participation and structure. That structure is not intended to create barriers. It exists to help families resolve issues more efficiently, more affordably, and with less conflict than repeated returns to court.

Written by Cori L. McGuire, family law mediator, arbitrator, collaborative family law lawyer and Parenting Coordinator with a family law practice in British Columbia since 1998. 

© 2026 Cori McGuire. All Rights Reserved. Proprietary Workflow.

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