How Parenting Coordinators Work to Keep You Out of Court

If you have been ordered or have agreed to work with a Parenting Coordinator (PC), you are likely coming from a place of high stress and high conflict. You might be used to the adversarial nature of a courtroom where there is a winner, a loser, and a judge who decides who is right.

Parenting Coordination is different. A PC's role is not to be a judge or a witness to your past conflicts. My role is to be a process manager and a teacher.

I handle your file to ensure the process remains affordable, neutral, and focused on your children as follows: 

1. I am a Teacher, Not a Witness

The goal of a PC is to move you toward self-management. Under the teaching mandate, I provide the tools such as counselling recommendations, communication protocols, and templates, to help you resolve disputes without future dependence on professional intervention.

A PC is not a witness. I do not participate in your litigation. This is a shield that protects my neutrality; the moment I am perceived as a witness for one side, my ability to teach the other side effectively ends. My only "voice" in the legal system is through my formal Determinations. PC authority is a court-approved delegation, not inherent. Binding decisions only occur within the appointment’s express scope and with mutual consent or court authorisation.

2. I  balance how much time is spent with each parent.

In high-conflict disputes, time is often weaponized. If a PC spends significantly more time reading one parent’s emails, it can be perceived as alignment.

I prioritize joint meetings and "CC’d" emails. This ensures both parents receive the same information at the exact same time. If one parent drives 80% of the PC’s billable time through excessive emails or meritless complaints, Section 17 of the FLA Regulations allows for the reapportionment of costs. This isn't about blame; it is the financial reality of how much time that parent is consuming.

3. I must prioritize efficiency over excess to make decisions affordable.

A PC should not be a "luxury item" that bankrupts a family. To keep costs down, I follow an efficiency plan. I use informal "Recommendations" for minor day-to-day issues to save you money. Formal "Determinations" are reserved for serious breaches or important stalemates. I generally do not accept long submissions from parents; I require a concise 1-3 page summaries of the facts, and your proposed remedy.

4. The Communication Agreement requires a no-blame proposal based BIFF.

All co-parenting messages will be: Brief, Informative, Friendly (professional), and Firm (your boundary, not bossy).

Teaching without Blame:

My job is not to overly focus exclusively on "Why" something happened, as that invites excuses and conflict. My job is to ask "What’s next?" Instead of focusing on a past failure (e.g., "You missed the hockey practice"), we focus on the restorative protocol (e.g., "The agreement requires attendance; since it didn't happen, Parent B now has the Right of First Refusal to transport the child").

5. Every issue we face requires a clear path regarding cost and outcome.

• Coaching/Teaching - Changing behavior for the future - PC fees shared 50/50.
• New Protocols - Creating clearer rules to stop the "gray area." -  PC fees shared 50/50.
• Failure to follow agreements - PC fees reapportioned when one party's actions increased them.
   

  6. To remain effective, I must maintain a distance.

I cannot align with either parent, nor can I get caught in the middle of personal attacks. By focusing on objective criteria such as the Family Law Act and your Order or Agreement, we ensure the process remains fair.

In summary, parenting coordination is a roadmap to stability. By following these rules, we ensure the process is a tool for your child’s well-being, rather than another battlefield for the adults.

Written by Cori McGuire, a Parenting Coordinator with 28 years of family law experience in British Columbia. A similar article explaining my role in further detail is The Framework of Trust. If the PC Process is obstructed, further articles explain the process linked in the Resource Library.