Why Sharing Your Location with Your Co-Parent Isn't Optional: A Guide to Respect, Safety, and Sanity

As a parent, your love for your children is boundless. You want them to feel safe, happy, and secure, especially in the wake of separation or divorce. Yet, for many co-parents, one of the most contentious issues is simply sharing what city or province you're going to with the children during your parenting time, even if it is part of a court order or agreement.

It's a common point of resistance. I hear it all the time: "Why do they need to know?" or "This is my time with the kids; why should I tell them what we're doing?"

The truth is, this isn't about control or asking for permission. It's about fulfilling a legal and moral obligation that protects everyone—especially your children.

Let's break down the three critical reasons why following a court order or agreement to share your location is essential.

1. The Legal and Social Imperative: Avoid Fines, Penalties, and Endless Litigation
 

First and foremost, a court order or parenting agreement is not a suggestion—it is a legally binding directive. Ignoring it can have serious consequences.

• Legal Trouble: Failure to comply can lead to a finding of contempt of court, which may result in fines, court-mandated legal fees, or even a loss of parenting time. These aren't just empty threats; they are real consequences that can drain your finances and your emotional energy.
  
• A Foundation for Social Order: Beyond the legal penalties, respecting these orders demonstrates integrity. It builds a foundation of predictability and trust, which is the bedrock of any successful co-parenting relationship. When you follow the rules, you show your co-parent that you are reliable and committed to a structured, cooperative environment. This simple act of compliance can save both of you from a cycle of costly and emotionally draining litigation.
   

2. The Psychological Need for Peace of Mind & Safety
 

Think about your own feelings. Don't you feel a sense of relief when you know your child is safe and accounted for? The other parent feels the exact same way.

A parent's need to know their child's location is a fundamental psychological need for security and peace of mind. It’s not about micro-managing or invading your privacy; it's about a deep, instinctual need to ensure your child is safe.

• Peace of Mind: Knowing the children's location reduces anxiety and worry. It allows the other parent to relax, knowing that in case of an emergency—a sudden illness, a natural disaster, or an accident—they can quickly and easily locate their child.
• Reciprocal Respect: By sharing information, you are building a foundation of transparency and trust. This simple act of respect can lead to a more cooperative co-parenting relationship where both of you feel valued and secure. This is the kind of healthy communication you want to model for your children.

3. The Child's Best Interest: The Most Important Reason of All
 

This is the most critical point. When you refuse to share information, you're placing your children directly in the middle of your adult conflict.

Consider how a child feels when they accidentally tell their other parent about a great time they had, only to realize they've "blown a secret." This puts an immense burden on them, creating a sense of anxiety, guilt, and emotional turmoil. Your child shouldn’t have to carry the weight of your conflict or feel like a spy.

Children thrive when they see their parents acting as a team, even when they no longer live together. When you follow your agreements and show mutual respect, you teach your children that they are more important than your disagreements.

Ask yourself this:

Do you want your children to grow up and look back at a parent who was a victim of their own drama?

Or do you want them to see a parent who rose above the negativity to do what was best for them?
Now is your chance to do better. Let go of the drama, the victimhood, and the negativity. By simply following your orders and agreements, you’re not just protecting yourself from legal trouble—you are actively prioritizing your children’s emotional health and well-being.

You aren't asking for permission; you are simply providing a co-parent with a necessary piece of information. This is an act of basic respect that they will likely return to you. The most important thing is that your children see you working together, even if you don't necessarily like each other. That image—of two parents committed to their well-being—is the greatest gift you can give them.