Navigating Indigenous Heritage in Parenting Coordination

Some time ago, I was asked a generic question  about my practice philosophy when one parent is Indigenous and the other is not. Conflict can arise when one parent wants their children to grow up immersed in their people’s teachings, culture, and spirituality and the other parent disagrees. As a non-Indigenous PC, this article explains how I would approach this type of a family situation.

Parenting coordination always begins from the reality of the child, not what parents wish it to be. When a child is Indigenous, that is a fact and not a parental preference. It is a core part of who the child is. Section 41(e) of BC's Family Law Act (FLA) makes it a parental responsibility to make "decisions respecting the child's cultural, linguistic, religious and spiritual upbringing and heritage, including, if the child is an Indigenous child, the child's Indigenous identity." Making decisions respecting the child's culture, spirituality and Indigenous identity is the law, and is not optional.

Under Section 37, the only consideration for decision makers to use is the "best interests of the child". When we define "best interests" for an Indigenous child, cultural identity is not secondary. It is foundational to emotional security, belonging, and psychological wellbeing. 

Federal legislation such as An Act Respecting First Nations, Inuit and Métis Children, Youth and Families and BC's Declaration on the Rights of Indigenous Peoples Act affirm:

• A child’s right to know, learn, and practice their culture;

• The importance of maintaining connection to Indigenous community; and

• Recognition that cultural continuity strengthens children and families.

These laws reflect what Indigenous communities have always known, that children thrive on cultural connection.

Developmental research consistently shows that Indigenous youth who have strong connections to their culture, language, Elders, and community demonstrate:

• Higher self esteem;

• Stronger identity development;

• Greater resilience in the face of discrimination;

• Improved mental wellness outcomes; and

• A stronger sense of purpose and belonging.

A child’s identity is integrated, not divided between parents. When a child is supported in all aspects of who they are, they are better able to develop internal coherence and confidence. True stability is not just a routine and schedule; it comes from knowing where you come from and feeling proud of it.

Section 37 also requires, amongst other factors, that we consider the child’s views (if appropriate). When Indigenous children express pride in drumming, joy in ceremony, or connection to Elders, for example, those experiences are not extracurricular activities. They are expressions of identity. Supporting those connections reinforces self confidence and emotional security.

In BC, decisions regarding schooling, extracurriculars, or travel are viewed through the lens of maintaining the child's ties to their Nation. Courts have ruled that severing or neglecting an Indigenous child’s connection to their culture is a recognized form of harm.

My approach is not about choosing one parent’s position over the other. It is about centering the child’s full identity.

Parenting plans must respect and uphold the child’s Indigenous identity as a legal and human right.
Both parents are encouraged to view cultural participation not as division, but as enrichment that benefits the child’s overall development.
We build practical, respectful plans that allow the child to walk confidently in both worlds, strengthened by cultural grounding.
Supporting a child’s Indigenous heritage does not diminish the other parent. It strengthens the child.

The goal is not to manage conflict between adults. It is to create conditions in which the child grows up secure, proud, and connected. Cultural ties are not a risk factor to manage. They are a strength to nurture.

I have learned that being the 'right fit' for a family means being the right advocate for the child. When I speak about the Family Law Act and the non-negotiable nature of a child’s Indigenous heritage, it can create discomfort. But as a professional, I cannot treat a child’s identity as a 'lifestyle choice' to be mediated. My role is to manage the conflict between adults without diluting the truth of the child. If the heritage is treated as a bargaining chip, the process is already broken.

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My approach to parenting coordination with Indigenous Peoples is grounded in the law, but it has also been deeply shaped by the wisdom of my lifelong friend, Dr. Rosalin Miles. Rosalin helped me articulate why cultural grounding is not a 'parenting style,' but a fundamental right. I am grateful for her edits and her enduring guidance on what it means to truly center an Indigenous child’s identity.